I am a mad scientist.
You shouldn’t be surprised. Scientists have a lot to be mad about.
I’m mad that people think that any random opinion someone spouts off the top of their head is as good as the scientific theories that were developed and perfected through centuries of painstaking experimental observations. Science is about how the world actually works, not wishful thinking.
I’m mad that popular media invariably depicts scientists as either bumbling fools or evil villans.
I know a lot of scientists and they are far less likely to be fools or villans than most other people. They are also more likely to be marathon runners, rock climbers, or martial arts black belts than the average person. They’re the hero more often than the sidekick. More like Bond than Q.
I’m mad that politicians are so afraid of the truth that they’d rather muzzle, obstruct, and fire scientists than change their own policies.
I’ve seen cod stocks depleted; people die from disease and starvation; war declared, and our environment damaged because politicians suppressed inconvenient, unpopular, or difficult truths. People keep voting for those same politicians. What’s wrong with people?
I’m mad that people would rather thank an imaginary god than a real scientist for the miracles that science provides.
If a people have to believe in a god, then why don’t they thank their god for creating both the scientist and a universe that is understandable through scientific methods? Our ancient ancestors, who were at least as devout as modern men, lived short, dirty, uncomfortable lives. Almost everything that a modern man touches, from the food on his table to the house he lives in to the car in his driveway, he has because some scientist somewhere asked, “How does the world work and how can we make it better?” God didn’t answer the ancients’ prayers by giving them medicines and electric power and communications satellites. We have those things today because scientists gave them to us.
I’m mad that people lie about what scientists say.
Scientists continually re-examine and re-test each other’s theories. That’s what makes science strong. Yet people with an agenda lie to you about what that means.
In the ’60s, when scientists found clear, strong evidence that cigarettes cause cancer, the tobacco industry’s response was to say that scientists didn’t know because they were arguing about minor details. In the ’80s, the media said the same about HIV causing AIDS. Today, the oil companies say that same about carbon emissions causing climate change. Creationists say the same about evolution; and a nude model says the same about autism and vaccinations. It never ends. Just because scientists are continually refining details doesn’t mean that their theories are wrong. If scientific theories were wrong, we wouldn’t have airplanes, antibiotics, or computers.
And, just because scientists call their knowledge a “theory” doesn’t mean that they are unsure about it. In scientific parlance, gravity is a theory but you’re still going to crash and die if you jump off a cliff.
I’m mad that people accuse scientists of conspiring with each other in some weird way or another.
When the media wants to discredit scientists, they accuse them of faking results to get more grants and get rich. I’ve got a news bulletin. Scientists aren’t rich. They don’t put their grant money into their own pockets. They spend the money on research. And they get audited just like any one else so you can be sure that they aren’t embezzling any grant money.
When the UFO nuts want to believe that space aliens have crashed to earth, they accuse scientists of hiding the remains. Another news bulletin. If any scientist had any evidence of space aliens, he would rush to publish a paper on it because that would make him one of the most famous scientists in history, along side Galileo, Neuton, Darwin, and Einstein. He’d go to prison if he had to. Take his chances on being executed. No conspiracy or law or agency would be able to stop him.
Take some time to consider all the ways that scientists have improved your life. You might not be so quick to belittle, begrudge, or disbelieve them.
Then, I won’t have quite so much reason to be a mad scientist any longer.